Our Magical Bond of Breastfeeding

Nevan was born at 4:11 pm on 9th October'13......I was completely knocked out for a couple of hours after a 29 hours long-induced labor and having a normal delivery of a big (in literal sense) baby. So my doctors did not push me for bf at night and our (mine as well as Nevan's) first attempt for breastfeed came only the next morning.

I still remember my trembling hands, taking my lil one in my arms. I was so confused on how to hold him, place him, latch him, whether the milk is there or not and more over would he be able to suck the milk. He was so small with a cute little mouth and tiny pair of lips....oh it was such an enthralling experience.

Well I am not sure how many of you will disagree with me on this, but the best thing my lactation consultant did to me was, she sent everyone out of the room. So it was just me with my baby and she with a nurse. So it took time and wasn’t right the first time or the second time or even the tenth time but once it went the right way there was no looking back.

Infact it’s hilarious but breastfeeding isn’t as simple and beautiful an experience as the advertisements or the pictures all through the internet depict. The baby may not latch properly or there would be positional issues, endless feed sessions or simply mood swings to keep an upper hand for lactating. Further on over the time when all settles well, comes the deadly “teething” and OMG.....you are in for a whole new game then!!!

Nevertheless, a new mother’s mental state plays a big part in her breastfeeding....especially in India when everyone is over enthusiastic to suggest everything but just the basics. Though a first time mom is as new in this world as the baby; but she is already overfed with so much information that she ends up being confused....so I recommend every new mom on the block to consult a good Lactation Consultant at least once.

Well the initial days are tough....be rest assured with that...so Keep Going Strong. It takes time for both the baby to latch on and the mother to feed. I was lucky to have already arranged for a support system around me so that in my initial few weeks I could concentrate only on baby & me. I still remember the endless feeding sessions....engorged breasts, sore nipples, restless days & sleepless nights....but all this passes so soon that now when my lil one is almost three, I am finding all of it amusing but missing it somewhere within me too!!!

I remember once I fed him for almost an hour and then I got a scolding from my ‘jappa’ (lady especially kept for mother and child care during the initial six weeks, post child birth) and she asked me to give it a break. But this boy wanted feed almost after every one and a half hour so I was trying to act smart by making him feed till the time he gives me a long break.

But every mother finds her own rules so try and try till you succeed and you will understand what works best for you and your baby. In the beginning the baby is too small so either he is taking less feed coz he gets cosy and doses off inside your warmth or simply gets tired of sucking and take a pause. But the sessions are so recurrent that it takes a toll on the mother. There is no sense of anything, just a cycle which is feeding baby from one breast to the other breast....Oh by the way I was told this too by my jappa that one has to feed the baby equally from both breasts for the milk production to be fine and not getting one breast over sucked and the other one overflowing.

Well also breastfeeding came very very handy to me when we travelled with Nevan; it was a free of cost :) , convenient instant food which did not stop the travel bugs in me & husband. In fact it definitely saved us a few bucks before we shifted to supplements.

But apart from all the hardships a mother and child go through for or during breastfeed it is a magical connection which is between the two....this bond makes you grow fonder of the new relationship and it ends so soon that a mother misses it when its gone. 'Breastfeeding' gave me an essence of complete motherhood....this definitely does not mean that the mothers who don't or could not breastfeed due to any reason are anywhere left out but it is my feeling....that breastfeeding my child made me feel him from within, to actually relate him to being a part of me who came out of me and was in my arms.

Towards the end I would definitely like to mention that my heart aches to see this but the stigma a women has to go through if she hasn’t or isn’t able to feed the child is so unfair, especially in our country. As much as breast feeding is good for both mother and the child I still believe the decision for the same is in the hands of the mother and only her. Just don’t stop breastfeeding your child or shift to supplements because people around you say you might be milking less, trust your motherly instincts coz they are always right....No mother becomes less of a mother if she hasn’t breastfed her child!

Image Courtesy: Google Images

Best Parenting Tip I ever received was....."Fix Yourself"

Dare you inform people about your Pregnancy and comes along with a brief "Congratulations" is a long, long, long.....(you can read Eternal) list of Advises, Tips, Pro's & Con's, Superstitions, Hearsay's, etc etc etc.Weather its your mom or your neighbor or a friend or just another lady you meet in a mall, metro or party, everyone has something to tell you, something to educate you about and warn you about what's gonna come your way!!!

But trust me you, hear everyone out but follow only your gut. When God makes Mom's (even Mom's to Be) he first gives the women an instinct, a "Mommy's Instinct" which helps you throughout your life and helps you choose the right path for you & your child.

The Best and amongst the most Off Beat tip which I got was in a party from a man (& not a women).....which was quite strange for me; he said

"The best gift you can give your child, when he/she is born is to FIX YOURSELF". 

When I heard him, I thought the man is drunk as he offered me a drink a minute ago even after seeing my baby bump. But towards the end of the Pregnancy you are so used to these conversations that you just let the other person speak without any interruptions. So he went on and explained Fix Yourself!!!

Life before a child can be led in any manner. We all have lived our lives with different kinds of distortions and distractions and vocabulary but when the child comes its time to straighten up and lead your life the ideal way. The way you want your child to lead his life. Babies are born with a super power of imitation and a blank hard drive, so they learn what they see; they do what you do; they speak the way they hear and act the way they observe you reacting. So they pick up whatever they are exposed to and you are the closest and a true source for their imitation lectures.

This one was the best I got out of my whole lot of parenting conversations and now with Nevan growing up and learning things quickly, I have some daily examples which justifies the same...

I would just end by saying, "Fix Yourself, before you move out to Fix your Child!!!"

Image Courtesy: Corbis, Google Images

Just a mom's thought...

After almost 14 months of Nevan & 9 months of my pregnancy my thought have changed. Like most of the first time mom's I also had a notion about the do's & don't's for the babies and for all the adults surrounding the baby but time changes everything and everyone....Now I am a lot more cool regarding every small thing than I was earlier.

It may be patience which has been embedded into after after being a mom but yes it's true....I don't fret over every small thing, his falls, his not eating food when we are out, people pulling his cheeks and making him eat whatever is in their hands, he playing on floor which is yet to be mopped, etc etc etc and trust me moms; It has given a lot more peace in life than I imagined!!!

So here is a thought I read somewhere and related to it immediately for my growing toddler:

"When as a mother you accept that you are just human and are not perfect, you automatically give breathing space to your child to be a human too and revel in the comfort that their mom will still accept them and love them unconditionally.

So the thing is: You are the only mother your child has. At your best and at your worst, they love you no mater what. Wake up.....it's time you started to love yourself too: - Anonymous

So just sit back..... Live & Let them do Whatever they Want

Image Courtesy: Corbis

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a GREAT FALL........'Your babies First Fall'

Well my Humpty Dumpty had his first BIG fall on his 11 month birthday and it shook me completely. I was standing 50 meters away from him, talking to my maid...I am sure I had an eye upon him as he was playfully standing on the sides of his cot and he just toppled over upside down.....

I remember myself shouting his name loudly & then I went all numb....I didn't even go & pick him up. My maid picked him & I took my wailing baby in my arms just for my husband to come out of the restroom & pull him away from me. I was so shocked that
when he asked me what part of his body hit the floor first I couldn't reply, as all I had in my head was I looking at him toppling off the cot bar.

It took 20 mins for my child to come back to normal & begin his toy story again but two hours for me to stop crying & figure out what happened. Finally I realized he basically walked over his big car soft-toy which was kept in the corner of the cot, gained some height & slipped over on his left arm & not his head. But it was scary.....

Well I am not a doctor but I as a first time mom made my notes upon "Babies Fall's" so sharing my pointers with you guys:

1. Do Not Panic - there isn't much I say can about it but as my mom says, "Now you are a mother so you have to manage everything, Keep calm & Raise your child."

2. Resist any temptation of banging your head on the wall or floor - its okay, if the baby fell & especially when you were around.... you did not commit any crime, breathe easy as you too are a human, you never intentionally wanted anything bad for your child.

3. Call for help - There might be a few falls & especially the first ones (like mine!!!) when you might not be able to get a hang of what has happened and what to do. Just call for help from another family member & someone who is more calm & composed (usually husbands are the best bet at this time!) who will handle the initial situation.

4. Check for any injuries - Usually babies and toddlers do not get any broken bones so easily as that's how they are into making of an adult.... But check the baby for any bruises or bumps and its severity. Also check for any other 'serious injury' like a broken bone, head/ back injury, unconsciousness, bleeding which is not getting stopped by pressure, seizure, persistent vomiting, excessive sleeping, change in eye ball size, eye movement, etc

5. Use cold compression -  As and when your kiddo starts exploring and standing with support, 'Bump Eggs' - as I call them; are the most common things that's gonna happen. Usually they are not of a big concern but cold compression is the best form to bring them down. Just wrap a few ice cubes in a cloth and press it on the bump off & on till the bump subsides a little.

6. Visit the doctor in case - Visit or call your doctor immediately in case there are signs of any 'serious injury' (as mentioned above in point no 3) or if there are symptoms you cannot handle. 'Follow Your Instinct' as no read or another individual can tell you about what is the best for your child.

7. For the next time - Whenever Nevan has his usual falls during the day (for which now I have lost the count of falls/day) I prefer not to look at him or react for the fall with a sudden sound or jerk. This does not further surprise the kid and maximum no of times he gets up again and starts playing. In case if he does start crying and ask me to pick him up, I distract him immediately with his toys, light or whatever random thing is in front of us so that he forgets about the fall. These two are my rules for the regular falls.

Take care of your kiddo's.....Do let me know what are the others important pointers in case I have missed any.

11 Moments in these 11 Months that actually Made-me-a-MUMMA

The first smile...... :)

It's been a great journey so far and I am sure it's gonna be better on the way ahead. Nevan's 11 months birthday this week, brought with itself a glimpse of some candid moments which touched me from within and lead to some dampness in my eyes.

These months have been life-changing for me and my husband, a magic happened and along came all the happiness in our lives, with some other odd situations (Obviously!).....but then in between these Good-Better-Best times there were some awestruck moments which rang the bell and made me a Mother & my darling husband a Father.

So here I am sharing with you all some of these events which defined the New Character (MOM) within me:

1. When I took him into my arms for the first time: I still remember those trembling hands of mine, the hospital room full of people;family and relatives talking to each other and but my eyes are stuck upon my baby whom the nurse was about to handover to me. A look at my husband and a look again at him told me, "Here I am Momma.... and I said in turn You are my World".
2. Seeing him in the ICU: Less than a day with him and I was so weak and tired. Suddenly around 1am he is crying endlessly and I am told to sleep and the baby is taken out. I get up at 4am, and go to the nursery outside my room to find out my son has got admitted into the ICU due to disruptive breathing. Less than 30 hours of my delivery, at that wee hour of the day I decide to go to the ICU all by myself, walking with a hazy vision and small steps. I reached the ICU and saw him lie naked, upside down and my heart just sank. The ICU nurse held me quickly and gave me a seat and I still can't define what was happening within me. A harrowing feeling, of seeing my heart on a table with all the attachments put on his lil body. That was the moment that shook me from within and gave me a pain which I had never experienced again coz now I was a mom and my child was in pain.
3. His first co-sleep with me: Back home, when we slept together for the first time I got up after every single minute to check if he was fine, if the room temp is too cold, or if he is covered well and moreover kept on touching him to feel his breath to assure myself 'all is well'. I felt like a mad women who has become a zombie with all the sleepless nights and a weak body. 
4. When all romantic songs used to remind me of my son & not my hubby: Funny though but when I heard the song of Ashique 2, "Tum he ho" I just used to think of Nevan till the point when a friend sang it for her hubby on his birthday and I realized, 'Oh ya, it can be dedicated to Ankur(my hubby) too!' 
5. When Nevan was on my mind 24*7: So my brain started getting so strained & was functioning round the clock in thoughts like; is he hungry?, Is he wet? What should I feed him now? How much ounce of milk he had today? Why is his poop green today? What should be his next toys? Should introduction of books happen at 6 months? When is his next vaccine due?, etc etc etc etc etc.....

   

   And we became friends very soon!!!

6. When going out with friends & family meant more of rushing and missing him than enjoyment: For me, the first trip out of home was not friends or movie but a personal doctor visit in which I told the receptionist infinite no of times that I have a small baby waiting at home; but however when a friend pulled me out of the house for the first time without Nevan, I couldn't talk to her or even eat or even enjoy being away from a baby's chores....I called up home almost 6 times in 3 hours and finally my friend told me to go home as I was not doing anything else except talk about the baby or call home to ask how he is doing.....so she dropped me back & as I got off the car, she bid me good-bye & said, "U know what, you have suddenly transformed from Himani to Nevan's mom".....
7. Upon hearing the magical words from his mouth:  "Mum-ma": At almost 8 months Nevan called out the magical words 'Mumma' & 'Papa' and we became parents from mere caretakers.
8. List of most frequently visited sites changed to- Baby Centre, Parenting, etc and Magazines shifted to - Child development related books: Suddenly my starred websites were all the baby related stuff; right from the color of poop queries to why the baby is sleeping and why he isn't. It's all insane as everything around me or the house changed to Nevan. So 'Nevan sneezed today' became the biggest concern of my life and I used to read up all the possible information online & in the baby magazine's to find out ways to prevent cold in babies.
9. A visit to the mall in which I was asked, "Is that your baby?":  A spontaneous yes to the lady on the adjoining table in the restaurant, left me thinking "Really......MY BABY" and ting-tong the bell rang yet again!
10. Filling up his Passport Form in which I filled my name in place of 'Mother's Name': This was amongst the initial document which I filled for him and suddenly there is a place for Mother's Name and wow.....I have to fill in my name there....I am a MOTHER!!!
11. The first fall of my son meant more crying for me than for him: Nevan's first fall was on his 11th month bday. As we were almost through with the day, he was playing in his cot and I was right next to him and he just toppled over his cot. He was as stunned as me. But he was fine after a burst of cry but I went on for two hours. My brain went numb and I lost my senses to even evaluate the cause of the fall for those first couple of hours.

Pls share your experiences and your moments of truth's which made you a MOM.....Hope to have some other great experiences to share.

A short poem....on the first day of joining back work

Hello Mr. Froggy!!!

I come to work every day with my heart left at home,

Never thought I would have to see this day ever, so alone

Making a career was always a dream,

But with this compensation, I just want to scream

Tears roll down my eyes, my throat becomes sore,

I just feel so helpless and pain running down my core

No one can ever be a mother,

How much ever they proclaim to be there forever

My lil hero is waiting for me,

But I have a meeting in line to be

WiIl you forget who I am, my baby?

Will you forget to call me ‘ur’ mummy?

Will you forget the time we spent together?

Will you forget how much fun we had together?

I know this is a more joyful time than before,

But things are changing and are not the same any more

Had always thought of keeping you in a cocoon,

But I am sorry I have to leave you alone in an open room

I know ‘Money’ is important for a better lifestyle,

But not in lieu to rob you of your way of new life

I am trying to look for other options,

To keep you with me, with more caution

I will not deprive you of your share of motherhood,

For it I may have to flee my own work-hood

I am gonna be there for your every laughter,

For your cry, for your play and your all other clatter

I am gonna be your support for your first sitting position,

For your first bite, for your first stand and for all other initiations

I love you my baby, your my lil lil duckling,

I miss your quack-quack when I am working

Mumma is gonna be with you soon, Nevan,

Mumma is gonna be with you soon, my baby Nevan......